Wednesday, January 14, 2015

All That Glitters

There is no doubt that I am a fan of GLITTER.
No, not that glitter.

THIS glitter.

But I've learned during my many glitter-filled years on earth that to enjoy glitter, it needs to be contained or attached to something. Securely. For example...

I sang back-up in a benefit concert a month ago and was happy to have scored a cheap, glittery dress at T.J. Maxx. What I didn't realize until I donned the frock that evening was that there was indeed a reason it was so cheap - the glitter flew off the dress with every swish, bevel, and turn, leaving a trail of dazzle wherever I went. I was the Hansel and Gretel of glitter. You could follow the twinkling path and at the end, find me. Luckily, the benefit was called Sparkle, so I got away with it. At least until the end of the night when I took a cab ride home. I hopped out of the car and turned around to give a final thank you/farewell to the sweet cabbie, when our eyes were both drawn to the reflective seat I had just been in. There, in my place, was a shimmering butt mark of glitter...sorry, man! The poor dude is probably still attempting to dust buster it out.

When glitter has free roam, you never can fully cleanse yourself or your surroundings of it. I've always joked about cards that contain glitter (or confetti for that matter), chiding that they really are not something you should give a friend because of the torturous aftermath.

Turns out someone else had the same notion and did something about it.
Not surprising, these twisted, awesome people are Aussies.

There is now a service that for around $8 will send your (assumed) enemy a nasty note loaded with glitter upon opening. The creators of attest that glitter is the "herpes of the craft world". Check out the other FAQs (and most amusing answers) HERE.

P.S. The glitter-hemorrhaging dress is in a plastic bag in the back of my closet. I actually really like it. Any ideas on how to keep the glitter attached? Or should I just send it to an enemy...?

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